On collegiality but self destructing

I went today to hear a conference organized by Young Colleague. Now there has been a couple of issues this semester with YC but I didn't want to talk about them as I try to keep a free mental space and to leave all the problems outside (or leave them on campus). But this time it's some advice I need. Again, will you say? Yes, again, here is where I talked about hir and there are many more stories I could write. But let me get to this one because one thing is to not expect Colleagues to be friends (on which we all agree, I think) but another is to expect Colleagues to be polite (I know some of you will laugh at this one!).

Anyway, YC organized three conferences and YC asked me to be present. I went all the time, for two reasons: I think that being colleagues in the same small section where two Senior Colleagues never show up, it's important to show that there is a collegiality, even on topics we might not be familiar with; and secondly because I know YC would have taken it personally. Now, I don't personally care about what YC thinks about me on a personal level, but I have to be diplomatic on the professional one (as YC is know to bad mouth anyone YC does not like). So I went and I enjoyed some. In some I participated actively in the debate, in some I listened and I learned something. Which in my point of view is always interesting.

Now, it happened all the three times that a dinner was organized with the Speaker. I have never been invited once. Let me also add that most of the conferences were organized with another Young Just Arrived Colleague from another University (let's call him YJAC). Both JC and YJAC are men in their thirties. (that's the reason why this post will self destruct... too many details) Both single, same research area, they do fit well together and I think YC needs the advice of YJAC who seems to be a "hot shot": well published, got a tt in a R1 university (we are not R1) while ABD, seems to know everybody that counts in their field.

Now, I would summarize the situation as in this phrase another Colleague told me once: "it's a boys club". At the time I didn't want to believe that in 2000something, gender would still play a role into academia in North America. But let me tell you it f.....g does! (and let me add that the speakers invited were ALL men!!!!!!)

Again, nobody would expect to be automatically invited ALL the times to join the group, but at least once I think would be a gesture of collegiality. At least to me. But no, it didn't happen once. When the opposite happened, YC was always included. Always!

Now how do you react to that (except for being pissed off)? What do you think would be the best solution to it?

I am eager to hear your ideas!