Untenured Assistant Professor (Ph.D. Ladybug)

Moving (sort of)

2009-05-13T13:59:00.002-04:00

Hi everybody,

I decided to move the blog over here:

http://insearchoftenure.blogspot.com/

Nothing is changed but the url.

I will post over there from now on and this blog will eventually disappear.

The what?

2009-05-12T10:14:00.002-04:00

Two weeks ago I received a message from Chair regarding the annual report. Please send us your conferences, publications, etc., etc. I sent everything to the Assistant on time.

The day after I met my French colleague and hir told me that I was supposed to send in all the activities of the section. Well, nobody told me anything about it and in any case I asked Assistant to let me know if what I did was fine.

Yesterday, after almost a week I wrote back to Assistant to ask hir if what I sent was ok and mentioned what French colleague told me. Assistant wrote back that indeed, I was supposed to send all the activities of the section too. Mmmmmhhhhhh, how am I supposed to do the job if nobody is telling what to do even when I ask?

These are the things that gets me pretty pissed off.

Relief

2009-05-08T10:34:00.002-04:00

I don't know how, but I had very good evaluations from hellish class. I am surprised and relieved.

I am finishing my conference for the end of the month and I should start reading a couple of books. It's hard because Husband is home: ha has a back problem and I do a lot of things for him.

What is your best advice to make the best out of the summer months? I realize I need some advice here in order to make it productive. (also because I will spend one month in Europe and I would love to take that time completely off).

RBOC

2009-05-04T17:46:00.002-04:00

-It is a sunny and warm day that I just love

-I submitted the grades for the last class

-I have to prepare an exam for a course that wasn't even mine (ooohhh, I procrastinate on this one)

-I procrastinate, I procrastinate, I procrastinate

-iMac has some weird problems I can't figure out. Is just way too slow. I am happy to have my MacBook, just in case. And I am backing up a lot of stuff, just in case again.

-I need to write Conference for end of the month

-I procrastinate, I procrastinate, I procrastinate

-To procrastinate a little bit more I think I want a cold beer!!!!

Exams from hell

2009-05-01T09:11:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I had the last final with the class from hell. The longest three hours ever! By the end of it I was annoyed by the stupidest questions ("Oh, Prof, can you tell me if this answer is right or wrong?"....... Nope!) and they really started to get on my nerves. I wanted to get out of there. I can't believe they stayed in the all 3 hours.

There is one lucky thing about it, it's only 9 of them. The worst class ever!

Now I have to correct the exams. Wish me luck!

Sunday morning

2009-04-26T13:50:00.003-04:00

I woke up very late this morning (yesterday's dinner was great but very unexpectedly our pasta sauce turned way more spicy than expected!), we had a late breakfast this morning when Husband came back from the walk with our furry monster, and now I am slowly thinking about a light lunch and an afternoon reading. I haven't been able to slow down like this in ages. It feels good!

Out of grading jail (at least for now)

2009-04-24T17:00:00.003-04:00

I have graded all 25 finals for one of my classes. Grades are submitted and now the only exam left is next week. The evil class.... The good part about it is I only have 9 students, so it will be an easy one.

What else? I took the time to relax a little bit lately while making plans for the summer (=May and June). There is still a lot to do but I enjoy very much the fact that now the days are mine and I can make the most of them without worrying about preparing classes. I had a fun winter semester, over all.

Finally spring has arrived, the weather will be extremely hot in the next couple of days and it will be wonderful to take the Furry monster out (a sign of spring is that yesterday we rushed to the vet to get a tick out of his ear... this is so gross!) and play with him.

I have a nice weekend ahead: we have friends over tomorrow night and a quiet Sunday ahead.

I love spring!

Budget cuts

2009-04-17T16:11:00.002-04:00

At the Departmental Meeting of this morning, the Chair announced that Downtown U is officially on the point of freezing hires. Apparently the situation is so bad that there might be only 4 tenure-track hires for a total of 25 departments next year. Not encouraging at all....

I think elsewhere things won't be brighter and this makes me wonder about how the job market will be next year and what will happen in the future. I guess that for now I am lucky to have a job, even if not tt. When that will ever come, that is not known yet.

Why?

2009-04-14T17:16:00.002-04:00

Today I started my spinning class again. It was good to be back at the gym and to have some participants I know who came back to say hello and to tell me they were happy I was back.

At the end of the class two girls approached me and told me they were working for the Lululemon store right close by and invited me for a special instructor night on April 30: a class of power abs and some shopping with 30% off.

Guess what? THAT night I have to be on campus because one of my class writes a final. Want to know which one? The one who gave me trouble the entire semester!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-10T18:15:00.003-04:00

Happy Easter everybody!

Classes are over!

2009-04-10T14:58:00.002-04:00

Exams aren't!

So I shouldn't celebrate just yet. But yesterday was my last day of classes and I am super happy it's done, especially for the night class. It's very rare I complain that much about an entire group but except for 1 or 2 students out of the group, they were a lost cause. Would you believe one student yesterday asked "Hey, Miss, do you think I can study only the day before the exam?". Question to which Miss Ph.DL. answered "If you want to fail, yes!". I really couldn't take it anymore. And now it's all done!

YAYYYYYY!!!!!!!

One week to go

2009-04-03T11:06:00.003-04:00

There is only one week left of the winter semester. Thank God!!!! This is what I had to deal with lately:

- Stu1 wrote the night before a test at 9p.m.: "Hey Prof, can you tell me what will be on the test tomorrow?". I am surely not answering at that time, but I did in the morning. As soon as I walk into class at 6p.m. Stu1 asks the same question. I told him that I did answer him. You know what Stu1 said? "Oh, well I didn't even check my e-mails..." My answer was: "Well here is the test!" ................. No comment! And thank you for wasting my time!

-Stu2 (same class by the way) asked me after class if there was any way he could do some assignments on the side because he felt he didn't do good on the test. Well, I am sorry, the marks are what they are, so, no, there is no make up for points missed in a test. And while I was speaking, I asked Stu2 "Did you check out the exercises I sent you and the websites I provided you with?". The answer was "Uh, ho, I didn't have the time...." Then, bite the dust, my dear! You don't study and you want me to do something about it? Oh, please!

Please, let's hope it will be a quick last week. I really have enough of it all!

I am not blogging because

2009-04-02T08:47:00.004-04:00

-I am organizing 7 sessions for a national conference.

-My own organization isn't getting back at me and if the President answers is always too late

-The partcipants are stressed and they write for anything on their mind (no, I don't know what the weather will be like in a month!)

-I am stressed out

-I have way too many emails to answer to

-I finished the book review, which is by now sent :)

-I had a seminar yesterday that was a big waste of time

-I wasted more time with a Coleague having tea (I needed a break)

-Still haven't heard from the Chair....

-Husband is going through a difficult situation at work, I can't blog the details about it but he has been fired by his boss just because three months ago Husband was offered the position and then "someone smart" offered it to his actual boss and withdrew the offer to H. This created tension and problems. Nobody in the company could care less.

-Sometimes I am just pissed off at the unfairness of it all!

Notes from grading jail

2009-03-27T11:27:00.002-04:00

Again, I am back in grading jail. I have to grade:

-24 translation exams
-20 test
-10 compositions

Oh, please! I can't even express how much I do hate grading!
And I have to prepare another bunch of exams for next week where the translation projects will be flowing in.

Mr. Doggie is doing well. Our vet said his eye healed and he's only having a bit of conjunctivitis now. We are down to 2 drops twice a day and otherwise he seems happy and in his usual silly mood. All the dogs this morning had the first bath of the season! The snow is melting fast and there is one big area where it can't drain yet. So all of them splashed in the (terribly cold but they don't mind) water.
I report that I also finally obtained my business cards! That was about time!
I wonder why our Chair answers very quickly to futile messages but never does to important ones........

On collegiality but self destructing

2009-03-25T18:13:00.004-04:00

I went today to hear a conference organized by Young Colleague. Now there has been a couple of issues this semester with YC but I didn't want to talk about them as I try to keep a free mental space and to leave all the problems outside (or leave them on campus). But this time it's some advice I need. Again, will you say? Yes, again, here is where I talked about hir and there are many more stories I could write. But let me get to this one because one thing is to not expect Colleagues to be friends (on which we all agree, I think) but another is to expect Colleagues to be polite (I know some of you will laugh at this one!).

Anyway, YC organized three conferences and YC asked me to be present. I went all the time, for two reasons: I think that being colleagues in the same small section where two Senior Colleagues never show up, it's important to show that there is a collegiality, even on topics we might not be familiar with; and secondly because I know YC would have taken it personally. Now, I don't personally care about what YC thinks about me on a personal level, but I have to be diplomatic on the professional one (as YC is know to bad mouth anyone YC does not like). So I went and I enjoyed some. In some I participated actively in the debate, in some I listened and I learned something. Which in my point of view is always interesting.

Now, it happened all the three times that a dinner was organized with the Speaker. I have never been invited once. Let me also add that most of the conferences were organized with another Young Just Arrived Colleague from another University (let's call him YJAC). Both JC and YJAC are men in their thirties. (that's the reason why this post will self destruct... too many details) Both single, same research area, they do fit well together and I think YC needs the advice of YJAC who seems to be a "hot shot": well published, got a tt in a R1 university (we are not R1) while ABD, seems to know everybody that counts in their field.

Now, I would summarize the situation as in this phrase another Colleague told me once: "it's a boys club". At the time I didn't want to believe that in 2000something, gender would still play a role into academia in North America. But let me tell you it f.....g does! (and let me add that the speakers invited were ALL men!!!!!!)

Again, nobody would expect to be automatically invited ALL the times to join the group, but at least once I think would be a gesture of collegiality. At least to me. But no, it didn't happen once. When the opposite happened, YC was always included. Always!

Now how do you react to that (except for being pissed off)? What do you think would be the best solution to it?

I am eager to hear your ideas!

Finally things are getting done

2009-03-23T16:49:00.003-04:00

Today I was able to write the book review I have to finish before April 1. I will reread it in two days to make sure I am saying things that make sense. In the meanwhile I also took a light day because I had an almost terrible headache because I went to sleep very late yesterday and this morning I woke up particularly groggy to an extreme cold day: -20 with the wind chill. Excuse me, where is spring?

And I had to call the vet because I wanted to make sure about the appointment we have for Mr. Doggie on Wednesday morning and to check things out for Terrible kitty for the summer. Mr. Doggie seems to be ok and he's an angel when I put the drops into his eye. The vet was saying that she thinks we intervened with a very good timing and he should be ok. I truly hope so, but she still has to perform a test on Wednesday to make sure the ulcer is healing properly.

This afternoon on the other hand I am getting back to exercising, slowly but surely. Spring might not be here yet, but I feel like I need to get a hold on my free time and train again. I am sick and tired of spending my days in front of the computer. So today it will be light aerobics, abs and yoga.

Three weeks until the end of the semester....... and yes, I am counting!

Keep your finger crossed

2009-03-18T21:15:00.003-04:00

I went to the vet to pick up Mr. Doggie and unfortunately the Vet told me that he has an ulcer on his cornea. The good thing is that we did the test and we found out what the condition is right away. We came home with a lot of drops: antibiotics and atropine to be put in a couple of times a day. We hope very much that Mr. Doggie will heal and in one week he will have to get back to the vet for testing. And let's hope that he will heal on his own and he won't suffer any damage in his eye.

It is so hard to deal with their illness because they can't talk and let us know how they are. I am very sad right now because Mr. Doggie has always been particularly unlucky with his health. But the fact that he wags, is his silly self and he's able to deal with it in such a peaceful and sweet manner reminds me how grounded dogs can be. Sometimes more than us.

Please keep your finger crossed that he will heal in a week. We love him dearly.

Long Day

2009-03-18T11:54:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was an extremely long day. I went to campus early so I can give in the finals. I had the surprise that now the Exams Office want a double copy of each alternate exam and not just one copy (in addition to the double copy exam for the official finals). I prepared the additional copies and then went to teach Class 1 when my dog walker called. Furry Monster had some eye issues yesterday morning pawing at his left eye and I was not sure if calling the vet or not. He was not in pain, but I asked the dog walker to let me know if he was still doing it. Which he was, so I called the vet, scheduled an appointment, went to teach Class2, run home, took my Boy to the vet, the vet thinks it's just a conjunctivitis but wanted to run a test today in order to make sure no corneal damage is present. I left the Monster there, got back home, had dinner and collapsed at 10 ultra tired.

I woke up this morning at 9:30, a luxury I don't have very often because I am up at 6:15 every morning to take my Monster out.

And now I have to:

-prepare Class 3

-print a couple of things for Class 2

-prepare a test for Class2

-read a course pack from Unknown Class because I will have to prepare an exam out of it (the professor for this class is gone and I have to do it)

-read a book for book review.

Yesterday we were announced that the Departmental Meeting scheduled for this Friday won't take place. I am so happy I get to stay home on Friday! Yay! And recharge my batteries a little.

First day of freedom (almost)

2009-03-13T16:23:00.003-04:00

I am finally back from two intense weeks. My parents flew back yesterday and they arrived home safe and sound. I spent the last two weeks running around and I am exhausted. Plus there is this feeling that the trimester is over soon, spring might come, but in both cases we aren't there yet.

I have a busy weekend ahead and some grading. Plus I need to prepare a test and a quiz for my classes. It's 4 weeks to go, but for 2 classes only 2 weeks because the students will have their final presentations. Good for me because I still have to prepare for 2 more weeks and then finally the semester will be almost over! YAY!!!

I need to find the time to make a plan for the summer. It's the first time I will have from mid April to August to do things I want to do. There will be a couple of administrative tasks ahead but I will have some free time and I want to use it wisely.

This summer I plan to:

-reorganize and send out two articles

-write a research plan and a grant proposal

-prepare my CV and my stuff to send out for the job market

-read all the books piling up on a table

I'll keep you posted....

I don't know why

2009-03-10T19:27:00.003-04:00

I decided I want to apply to a Big Federal Grant next year. I am very lucky we have an Advisor at Downtown U who seems to be very nice. I will meet Ad. in April and I will work on the application all summer (plus two articles and a lot of readings!). Ad. sent me already some material to read i order to prepare me for the ordeal. I know that I am probably not there yet and my research isn't that articulated now for such a competitive a grant, but I think I might just learn a lot throughout the entire process. And at the end, even if the grant will not be there, I might end up with a decent research plan, after all. I am taking it as an important learning experience and some sort of academic money in the bank of knowledge for myself.

Wish me luck because it will be hard and gruesome!

As for the rest, my parents will leave the day after tomorrow and I am extremely busy with a lot (piles and piles) of work. 4 weeks and a half to go...... I hope they will go extremely fast.

Quick post

2009-03-04T16:50:00.002-05:00

My parents are in town and I am running around most of the time. I am happy to see them but I am not sure I have enough energy to do everything with them. I feel tired and exhausted. Next week will be hell (work related stuff) and I hope I will be able to do everything.

I can't wait until the semester is over.

Sometimes I wonder

2009-02-28T14:36:00.004-05:00

why we have deadlines and then everybody sends in their stuff at the last minute or late! I am organizing some sessions for Big Canadian conference and I have some people waking up and saying "oh, I am so sorry, I missed the deadline, can I squeeze in?".

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

PS: To the graduate student that wrote that zie wanted to send me something and to whom I wrote 3 times (do you have an abstract? remember there is a deadline, etc. etc.) and I never had a word back (not even a thank you): why are you wasting my time? And why are you sending me a message the day after the deadline telling me you were busy with a conference and the thesis, so I should understand? Yes, I do understand: you are starting out in this world by being a) rude, and b) unprofessional.

I really love this song

2009-02-26T15:40:00.002-05:00

I am listening to Mraz's album while preparing Easy Class and I truly love this song:

Details in the fabric

I can report that the Translation course is almost ready, Easy Class is almost out of my way, finals are prepared, I still have two quizzes for one course and another test for a second one to prepare. Corrections are done, I still have to grade.

Starting next Monday it's countdown to the end of the semester: 6 weeks to go!

Good news

2009-02-24T10:51:00.003-05:00

My contract has been renewed for another year! YAY!!!!!!!

I received a letter from a person who would like me to join an association that is not academic but it's vaguely related to the promotion of language teaching. As nice as this person was to think about me, I said no. I don't think I have time for anything that is not related to my job in a very egoistic way. I politely answered that as much as I appreciate and I am honored by the offer, I really can not take on more responsibilities.

I think I am learning how to say no without feeling guilty.

A nice surprise

2009-02-22T11:45:00.004-05:00

Yesterday with Husband we went to our favorite bistro in our neighborhood and it happens to be also a bookstore. I found a nice edition of The Arcade Project of Walter Benjamin for 40$. I was happy (lately I was complaining because this bookstore sells books at very high prices, I can find the same at least 3 to 10$ less on line at Amazon or Indigo) and I pass to pay. I have a card there and every 10 books you are buying you get a discount based on your average spending for the 10 titles. And it was time to cash in my credit. With taxes and everything, the book cost me 7$!

If only that would happen more often!

And spring break is officially started: I took it easy for the last two days but now I need to get back to work: I need to prepare almost all of my translation classes. March will be an extremely busy month: my parents are coming for a 12 days visit (=light blogging ahead) and I have two meeting and several deadlines. Plus a book review due by April 1st. I will start reading the book as soon as today in order to write it asap.

Spring break and plans

2009-02-20T10:06:00.004-05:00

At Downtown U the campus is covered with fresh snow and today we waked up to find out that the temperatures dropped significantly during the night. It was cold on this morning walk!

I had a chance to grab a coffee with Gentle Colleague and to hear about hir plans. And to take some time to think about my situation and what I want to do in the future. I like DownTown U, it's not perfect but if offered a tt position I would like to stay. Now the chances that this would happen are really slim. We have two Senior Colleagues way over 70 that are not planning retirement at all and this create a situation where nobody new can be hired, except that with a contract like mine. Now, there might a possibility to extend my appointment from a 3 years contract into a 5 years one. But again with no possibility of a tt (unless it will opened in the far far future). Anyway, from where I stand now, and the economic situation more or less everywhere, it's a sort of a wait and see game. If I don't find anything else, I will stay, of course, and if a tt will be available I will take it even somewhere else.

The only thing I am scared about is getting stuck in a position where I am "forced" to teach only language classes. I love to do it, I love to see the students progress and see how they expand their knowledge but I also like to engage in some critical thinking with my students while we are reading and discuss theory. And I miss doing that. A lot. So I know that this position is an excellent point of departure but its not the position I want to be in forever. I want something that will engage me more and will give me a chance to teach literature. After all this is what my Ph.D. was about: it was about literature and not pedagogy. This is what really interests me.

Yesterday I passed by to sign a petition into the office of a colleague who is also the Union representative. I took the chance to ask hir (this is like a million dollar question) if (s)he knew if I could be competing for Major Grant next year because I was excluded last one and nobody can give me a clear answer on the topic. UR said "oh, even if you are an Assistant Professor, we do have two classes of professors here?", well, yes, there is a discrimination and the university is not particularly welcoming with people that have this visiting gig. And you see, this is what it is all about. I want to have the same opportunities as anybody else. And I want to work and put my energy in a place where I know all my best assets will be used and actively engaged.

Am I asking for too much?

Preparing for spring break

2009-02-16T19:16:00.005-05:00

Well, it's very ironic to call spring break the last week of February in Canada! We have a lot of snow planned for this week and maybe for next one (our spring break at DownTown U), so I would define it as wishful thinking. But, let me tell you I just can't wait for the real spring. It will not get here fast enough.

Except for my dreaming about a weather that will arrive here in approx. 2 months (by then I won't be able to even look at my winter coat!), I am preparing for next week: the break!!!!!! Finally! I don't know why but this semester has been particularly long and particularly heavy. And one week at home will help me plan the last six weeks of the semester that are already packed with things to do. There is so much to do and so little time. I will work as much as I can because the week after I will receive the visit of my parents and I would like to make time for them even if the semester will start again in full gear.

All I need is good planning, doing the most important and time consuming things first: like teaching prep for my translation course, and planning the final exams (that at DU we have to give in by MidMarch, can you believe it?). I also have to write a book review, on which I have mixed feelings. I always accept enthusiastically, I put the book away and then I wake up one day and I have to read the book as fast as possible and I have to write as fast as possible. Well, this time I decided that I will work on this in advance. I want to read the book this week and start planning the review over the next one. If I can write everything, then by Mid-March I will just have to read it again and then send it out.

By the first week of April the semester is over (the exams will follow shortly). I can't wait to have the first (almost) free summer in years!

My mantra for now is: 6 more weeks, 6 more weeks!

Happy belated Valentine's Day

2009-02-15T11:03:00.004-05:00

To all of you! We decided that for us VD was a day to spend time together and have a nice dinner in the restaurant we love.

And the furry monster came home with a Valentine bandana from daycare. He is just soooooo cute!

Enjoy the weekend!

Out of grading jail

2009-02-11T18:36:00.003-05:00

I was busy because I was in grading jail. Over the weekend I had to:

-grade 24 translations (that was painful!!!)

-listen and grade to 20 something podcast (way better but not less difficult)

-grade 20 exams

At the very end of it I just couldn't take it anymore! I was exhausted and tired and cranky. It was really too much if you consider that I had a Friday Dept. meeting that was pretty upsetting: we have less and less funding plus without any retirements there is no chance there could be a tt position opening. What can I say? That is probably better to know it in advance and to prepare for the future. I won't have any choice than to be on the job market again next year, and, if it was already a difficult one, it will be a tightening one. For this last detail, I think I should just accept it and hope for the better. I mean, there is nothing I can do, right?

Just to give you better news, Husband is doing very well. He went to the doctor who took care of his ear and now he does not wear his little bandage any more and he is back to work. We don't yet if the eardrum is totally repaired, we have to wait until the end of the month. But we are positive about it.

Lately I have been struck with tiredness and crankiness. Yes, I just wrote that it's due to grading, but I think it is also due to exhaustion. I need a break!!!!!!! 3 more teaching days and then we hit spring break week. That will be nice. (plenty of work ahead but at least no teaching for a while). I think it's the winter that doesn't help, the darkness and the cold make everything more difficult for me. Plus I was not able to sleep well the last week due to Husband's snoring (he had to sleep or on one side, mine, and he was kicking me!, or on his back, and then he snored) and because the city sent some workers at 2 a.m. to empty the snow from a hole they dug in October (probable water pipes to be repaired) but they never worked on it. So two mornings ago we woke up with sirens and lights from the back street with them working on the damn hole. By the way, nobody passed by ever since to work on the thing, and just in case you wonder, I did complain first thing in the morning with the city itself. But my sleep was gone by then and I tossed and turned until morning.

Delightful news

2009-02-04T11:10:00.004-05:00

Yesterday afternoon I was walking back to my office because I just needed to talk briefly with a colleague about a lunch scheduled for Friday and as I was passing by hir door GentleColleague invited me in.

GC started whispering with a big smile on hir face. Gc has been hired with a similar contract and we clicked right away, we have very similar experiences and we always loved to talk about things. I really like GC a lot. GC recently applied for a tt where we are and GC gave a conference last week for hir interview (which I had to miss because it was during my office hours). So GC with a big smile told me that good news arrived.... And that GC received an offer not from Downtown U but from Green University not far from Big City about another tt job. YES!!!!! I am so happy for GC! GreenU is a wonderful place and I hope GC will accept the position. GC asked about what to do with DowntTownU. I suggested that maybe having a talk with the Chair would be a good thing and probably would allow GC to find out if the position here is for her or not. If the answer is no, then GC has the best plan B ever, because it's a tt job in a wonderful place. If it's a yes, then GC will have to figure out with hir partner if they want to stay here (GC's partner is an academic too) or if they would prefer to move and commute. In both cases, it's a lovely decision to take.

I am extremely happy for GC, really. I felt a rush of adrenaline when GC told me this (and also said that I am the only one who knows) and I felt so enthusiastic for my Colleague for more than one reason:

-yes, there is hope out there even nowadays and even if hir field is way better in the job market than mine, there is still hope!

-we are free to make what we want (and what we can) about our lives. We aren't attached forever with chains to institutions that do not seem to value work over connections. With GC we talked about how things are going at DTU and we have seen a place that is run with favours and friendships more than everything else. It seems that networking and good relationship with people in power are the most important things. And who has the power protects who has some other power. They are all together in a tight group. And we, the newcomers, we don't belong there. And it is not only the administration that makes us feel like that we don't fit in (remember this?) but also some Faculty Members. Gc told me a little bit more about the interviewing experience and GC added that some FM were borderline rude, very rude with hir. I find this insulting and it is such a cheap shot to be rude with a candidate. Get a life!

-it's a good inspiration for me, to remind me that I am free and next year I will have to push myself on the job market again. I can't stop here to promises (true or false as they might be) if there will be a position available or whatever they are planning. I need to be out there and look for a tt. This year the job market has been awful. Two positions opened up in my field in Canada: one was canceled and the other one was too far away (a couple of hours away by plane!) It's not what you call an excellent year. But there might be other possibilities next year. And I don't want to miss them.

-After what I wrote about YC (the post that disappeared) this is a breath of fresh air. I will miss GC a lot but I know GC has a wonderful future ahead!

Thanks

2009-02-02T16:27:00.002-05:00

Thank you all for your comments. I'll try to stick with your advice on the matter. It's hard because I think working together will be almost impossible to avoid, but I might be able to plan it in a way where each of us has his/her responsibilities and there is no bouncing around with them. As for the friendship, I don't think it's real, it's more convenience...... and I am slowly moving away....

For Psychgrad who asked: thank you, Husband is doing better, but the recovery is slow. He has 15 stitches behind his ear and his outer ear is covered so the transplant will have its chances to work. It takes time and patience. And after that hopefully his hearing will be back to normal.

I need advice on this one but it is a self destructing post

2009-02-01T12:04:00.004-05:00

This post will disappear very very soon.

Poof! It just did!

Update

2009-01-30T11:48:00.003-05:00

Thank you for the good vibes. Surgery went well and Husband is now recovering quietly at home. He is OK but his ear (covered in white bandage and tape) is hurting a bit. He did recover well from anesthesia and, as his usual self, is hungry all the time. I guess this is a good sign!

I am taking it easy too, I can work from home at my pace for the next couple of days and just relax a bit (a break is always nice).

I received a tentative schedule for the finals: end of April sounds good to me and the exams aren't too far away from the last class. I can't wait until this semester will be over and spring will be here!

Tomorrow

2009-01-28T09:27:00.003-05:00

We have a big Snowday here in Big Canadian City. And I have half of my day off because in the afternoon Husband and I will have to take Mr. Doggie to his daycare where he will stay for a couple of days.

Tomorrow Husband will undergo some surgery, it's actually from what happened this summer. The upsetting part is that he will have to undergo general anesthesia and I am not a big fan of it. We were actually surprised when we heard that because it seemed that a local one would have been fine. But we are no doctors, right? And the surgeon seemed to know what he was talking about.

Tomorrow I have canceled Class1 and I asked Colleague to replace for me in Class 2 and Class 3. I will spend the day at the hospital with Husband. I hope everything will be fine.

This afternoon we are getting ready to spend the next couple of days at home. Husband will be recovering and I will be working on my classes. I hope to be able to prepare quite a bit of them, and to keep the momentum going. I don't why this semester I have less things to do but somehow it seems busier with plenty of stuff to take care of. A good couple of days with him here in a cozy place will be a good rest for both of us. I'll try to post an update asap, maybe tomorrow.

And please send us some good vibes so he'll recover even sooner!

It's Winter (and I hate it!)

2009-01-24T15:19:00.002-05:00

It's terribly cold in this part of the country, today it is -28°C, definitely too cold to stay out. Too bad because since we had our snowshoes we haven't been able to use them much: it's always too cold every weekend. And it's only the end of January, we have at least two months and a half of this weather left and I feel like I'm dying.... There is a moment in winter when it hits me: I just can't take this anymore, all the layering, the clothes, the hats, scarf, mittens, boots. Please, give me e break, I can live in sandals all year long, make it for six months in nice leather boots, but not in heavy winter boots! So, now you know it: I hate when it's so cold that just waiting outside for 10 minutes for Husband to pick me up felt like I was freezing.

(I needed to rant about it!!!!!!)

On a totally different note I had a question and I am very curious: how many hours (per course) do you teach? In Downtown U it's around 40 hours for a 3 credits course. When I was at toxic it was 45 hours for a 3 cc. And at your institution?

Ps: If you have any survival strategy for this (f......) cold winter, please, let me know.

Open e-mail to Student

2009-01-21T18:01:00.003-05:00

Dear Student,

just because your final grade isn't satisfactory enough, you think this might hurt your GPA and you want to make up for your grade (I appreciate you being open to do whatever it takes but how about doing it during the semester instead?) I can't allow you to do any extra work to change your (already submitted) final grade. Grades are earned, not exchanged.

This summarizes the tone of the e-mail I had to write to this particular student. I can't believe some people do try to get away with things like this one......

To all my American friends

2009-01-20T19:15:00.001-05:00

Today is a wonderful day

A nice and free weekend

2009-01-18T17:32:00.002-05:00

The past week was long, very long. I had to be on campus on Friday for a meeting with my colleagues who, after all, seemed happy to be seeing each other and discuss openly some problems of our section. After the three hours meeting (I called it so I was under scrutiny for quite a while) I had lunch with 3 of them and I arrived home a little bit sleepy (I can't drink wine at lunch, it makes me sleep). I had an appointment with Skype with two of my good friends who were in London this weekend. It was really very nice to talk to them and it was really too bad I was not able to join them. I miss them a lot.

And Saturday we celebrated Husband's birthday, because his real birthday is this coming Tuesday but he will be out of town. I took him out for dinner in one of our favourite restaurants and then we went to play pool (something we haven't done in ages). Today I prepared blueberry pancakes for breakfast and then I did manage to work on my classes for the coming week. I have to admit it was a much needed break, I was tired and I wanted to get out of my bubble for a little while.

I find that this is very good for me and it helps recharging my batteries in order to have more energy for the coming week. Lest week I was so tired I couldn't teach well. It happens all the time when I am cranky that I make a mess. I am usually very precise and prepare well but when all this adds up, then you feel like you are scrambling through things and time is never enough and anxiety rises. On the top of the regular week, the letter of reappointment had to be ready, two students asked for letters of recommendation, I had to read some statistics for the Friday meeting and prepare a document about it, and some more little things all together.

This two days break helped me to less my anxiety level and to put it back into place. I slept like a baby over the weekend and I hope to do the same tonight.

For this week I plan to work on my courses and try to move forward with that in order to feel less overwhelmed every week. I know I can't prepare the entire semester but I like to move ahead so I can see all the good and the not so good parts I have to work on until April (spring, where are you?????).

Winter wonderland

2009-01-14T10:53:00.004-05:00

This morning I had to wake up earlier than ever because I had a doctor's appointment at 9. And when I woke up it was -34°C with the wind chill!!!! Absolutely the coldest it has been up until now. And it will last until Saturday. UGH!

Mr. Doggie got a thick sweater last month, so cute, blue to match his eyes with a red heart on his back. My Husband disapproved (not masculine enough.... came on!!!) but let me tell you Mr. Doggie was very happy to have that on this morning. He usually doesn't need extra protection if it's -20, but -34 is too much even for him. After all he's only a part husky and his fur is thick but it is isn't as long as a real husky.

Lately I have some problems sleeping well. I usually wake up around 2 a.m. or 3 a.m. and I am totally awake. It seems to me I am caught up in a kind of a worrying spiral and it's hard to break the circle. My head starts spinning and I start thinking about all the things I have to do. I get back to sleep only at around 5 something, leaving me only one hour to catchup.

Yesterday I had a couple of things to take care of at the office, so I didn't go to the gym and I miss the stress relief I get from it. I might be able to rush in on Saturday morning. And today I might be doing some Pilates from home. But it worries me to get this anxious. (yeah, I know it's absurd) I need a way to figure a way to get a decent night of sleep. I decided that I will finish working before 7 p.m. and if I have some things to do the day after I will start making a list of it, so I can manage it in the morning. And at night I want to read or watch some shows I like, relax and go to bed without thinking about work.

And, by the way, I invested in EyeTV Hybrid and so far I love it. I can record my favorite shows and watch them on my Mac. If you are in Canada there is only one bad side: you don't get the guide to the channels that lets you program the schedule right away. You have to do it manually. It's not a big deal but it should be improved.

Finished

2009-01-13T08:26:00.003-05:00

The letter of reappointment is done, the cv is up to date. I realized that I was missing the page number for some of my articles, so I e-mailed massively a couple of people and received almost all the information I was missing. Today I will bring it in and it will be done.

I had also a very good surprise: Late Article has been accepted! YAY!!!!!!

And I have piles of work to do. I am really struggling here to keep my head clean and functioning. What do you do when you have work, and work and much more work to deal with?

PS: I didn't tell you that the driving lesson in the snowstorm went very well and I did spend half an hour over the weekend learning (with Husband) how to get our car in and out of our garage (the smallest garage ever and a pretty complicate manoeuvre). This is fun! I will have next one next week.

I've received an award!

2009-01-13T08:18:00.006-05:00

Thank you Julie, that's very kind of you!

These are the rules:

"This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

I would like to offer it to :

And I have to run, I hope I didn't forget anyone!

You don't have time to blog

2009-01-11T21:41:00.002-05:00

if you need to submit your application for renewing your contract in two days and the deadline that has been anticipated by 30 days and nobody told you about it.......

I need to repeat this mantra: I love my job I love my job I love my job I love my job............

wish me luck!

First day of classes

2009-01-06T18:57:00.005-05:00

and I managed to survive!!!! I also decided to include a visit to the gym and so I trained and right now I am exhausted but happy. At the beginning I was thinking I can squeeze in gym time both on Tuesday and Thursday (both teaching days that have a 3 hours break) but then I think Thursday would be too charged a day if I do so. It would look like: walk the dog, go on campus, teach, gym, eat, teach class 1 and then teach class 2 (an intensive once a week only class). By the time I'll be home it will be almost nine o' clock at night and Mr. Doggie will still need to be walked.

So I decided I will squeeze some gym time either on Friday or Saturday morning instead and the 3 hours break will be devoted to work and class preps.

Tomorrow I have my first practical driving lesson (I did learn how to drive but that was 20 years ago and I didn't drive for the last 18, I guess I need practice... badly!) and tomorrow there is a snowstorm setting in: 15 to 30 cm of snow. I said to myself I wanted to relearn how to drive in the snow, and here it comes!

New post for the new year

2009-01-04T21:38:00.002-05:00

Well, I have spent the last five days in limbo. One part of me was procrastinating, another was complaining (I don't want to go back!!!!) and another one was just enjoying the perfect free time of the holidays. But now, starting tomorrow morning the procrastination is over and the semester starts again in full speed.

Well, I am coping with this and that I will have to endure another 3 and a half full months of teaching preps, corrections and dealing with students and colleagues. I know, I make it sound bad, but it is not that bad. I am just just complaining for the sake of it.

I did, on the other hand, spend quite some time over the holidays thinking about what to do and how to do it in the new year. I am trying to figure out a way of being more efficient at everything. I know I can be quite a procrastinator. And I made plans on how to change my behaviour.

I also had a very nice lunch with my thesis director because I wanted to ask her for advice. She totally understand the pressure I am feeling and her suggestions made completely sense to me: I wanted to apply for a seminar this summer in a very well know university but she was very realistic with me and even if she would support me (in terms of letters of application, etc.) she still thinks I should focus more on a research plan and publishing. I did agree with her view. I have this tendency of getting all fired up by new things only to realize later on that there is no such a rush after all. And I think she is right, I need to channel my energy in a way that it will contribute better for my cv and on the long term.

As for the rest, I will have to settle in a new routine and being more balanced. When I will be on campus two days a week I will be able to go to the gym and focus entirely on me and my teaching. When I will be home the rest of the week I will set aside some time for reading and writing. And then I will need to put in some regular sleep hours (it was sooooooo good to wake up late over the holidays, having my Husband taking care of Mr. Doggie) and some good nutrition. And then in April the teaching will be over and I will be enjoying a long summer where I can relax and do research.

One last thing: I have been having a lot of hip pain lately (a burning sensation more than sharp pain). This thing has been going on and off for more than a year now. I talked with my doctor but she didn't seem to worry too much about it. But I have a strong burning sensation at the hip level that is painful especially when I am resting (lying down), but rarely when I walk. I don't know what it is but I will ask her to do some tests when I'll see her.

Now it's time to go to bed, tomorrow I will wake up at 6:15 as usual.

Happy new year!

2008-12-31T10:22:00.003-05:00

Happy new year to you all! Health, love and peace.

We are back home

2008-12-31T09:46:00.004-05:00

We arrived back home on Monday after spending almost a week at my in-laws. Everything went well, we had fun, relaxed a bit, enjoyed the snow and went snowshoeing, had a wonderful Japanese massage, and then came back to the city to find ice, freezing rain, wind and extremely cold weather. So I have been late in posting because as soon as we arrived there were plenty of things to take care of: laundry, grocery shopping, the kitty, the doggie, the friends to call. Busy days. And yesterday I started planning my classes as the semester starts in one week!

And now it December 31st and the new year is almost here. With husband we are planning a quiet and romantic dinner tonight just the two of us. We were thinking about leaving the house around 11:30, go snowshoeing and open up a nice champagne bottle on the mountain but with the wind chill tonight temperatures will drop to -30°C! I think it will be a little bit too cold to really enjoy it so for now the plans are changed to a cozy evening at home.

Every time I think about 2008 that just flew by, I think about a lot of changes. Most of them were actually very positive and the year has been very encouraging and extremely busy. Busy to the point I have to admit I developed a little anxiety about what I have to do. I tried to concentrate so much on work that I feel now my life is certainly fulfilled but a bit out of balance. I work a lot, (like all the time...) and I don't do fun things anymore. I think 2009 will be a good moment to change all this for a more balanced approach. I want to work hard but I also want to have and enjoy my free time, go back to exercising in order to be less stressed out and less anxious, and go out more. I will try to organize my days in a more efficient way and my free time in a better way.

So balance will be my mantra for 2009.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-22T12:02:00.001-05:00

I think I won't have any time to post before leaving and I don't want to miss the opportunity to wish you all a lovely Christmas and some wonderful holidays.

grading sucks!

2008-12-22T11:59:00.002-05:00

I have just finished grading something like 38 exams. I can't take this anymore. And then there is this student that didn't show up at all. Now the department is telling me that maybe if the student wrote a deferred exam yesterday, his exam might show up today or maybe tomorrow.

We are leaving tomorrow!!!! For heaven's sake, it's almost Christmas!!!!!!

Which means that today I am on a sort of "on call" (I will rush to campus if the exam is in) if not tomorrow before leaving I need to pass by to pick up the damn thing and then grade it tomorrow and submit on line only.

It better be a good one because I am very pissed off by all this.

Long winter days

2008-12-16T12:52:00.003-05:00

We are almost December 21 and the days here in Canada are so short and so cold. In the last couple of days we had snow, rain, freezing rain and temperatures raised from -20C to +8C yesterday. Don't ask more, the only thing I can say is I am addicted to the weather channel. All of this made the sidewalks terribly dangerous and today the morning walk with my furry monster was terrible. I do walk with cleats, without them I simply couldn't do it in the morning because all roads to the park except the main one were just made by thick ice.

In the meanwhile I am finishing the article: today I still have to change one little thing before it will be sent it out to the editor. I truly hope it will be accepted (and that I will find out soon). That would give a good reason to celebrate because the last year has been a very productive year.

Now I have to start planning my winter courses before we leave next week for a 5 days holiday at my in-laws. We are planning one day at a SPA (massage, YES!) and other little excursions with snowshoes that will be our Christmas gift from ourselves. Husband and I have been planning this for a long time. This is the only winter sport I am good at (being born by the sea definitely does not qualify you as a potential good skier and I have no balance whatsoever) and we are very excited about it. But I will also bring my computer and some work. I know it sounds crazy but I will be so relieved to do some work before the semester starts again.

I am actually considering what I want to do next year, in terms of professional accomplishments. I still have two articles that should be reworked and send out for publication. I want to work on that. And then maybe I want to think about a research project that it is in my head. I know this is my weakest point. I have some difficulties not necessarily in creating a research project but articulating it, this is the hardest part for me. So I want to write down some ideas and see where I will be going from there. Next year I hope I will be still here in DownTown U. I am enjoying the ride so far and I am actually very happy about this opportunity. I work a lot but I enjoy it, and I am happy about it (even if from time to time I complain).

I have one practical question: how do you go about your research's notes? What do you do? I used writing things down in a notebook (I have one from my dissertation) but I find that not flexible enough because I can't move things around and because it doesn't allow me to link stuff (let's say electronic articles which I have the tendency to print out, but I would like to become paperless at least when possible). Do you use a Word file? Any other programs? I decided to give a try to Scrivener for this trimester. A colleague of mine uses it all the time and it seems to be a very useful program. I am still bit unsure about the formatting part but I'll try to figure things out.

Saturday my students will have their final exam and Sunday I will be in grading jail. But I did prepare my grades spreadsheet so that should make it easier to handle because all grades must be in by Monday. And I can't wait until next week arrives. Finally I will take a break!

RBOC

2008-12-09T11:15:00.002-05:00

- I should review my article but my brain is so fried from all the corrections on the weekend that is simply finding all these wonderful ways to procrastinate.

- Grading is done, at least for this one. Now next batch of exam is on Dec. 20... yes, that late!

- I need something from Sephora. Nice excuse not to work!

- I have to find some time in order to get a list of important things I should be doing over the holidays, work related.

- I need a vacation!!!

- I should go back to work....

I hate winter!

2008-12-08T18:42:00.002-05:00

This morning I woke up early in order to get to my spinning class and guess what?

It was -20 outside. With the wind chill it was -30!!!!!!

Why on earth should I want to know that?

Only 3 words:

I.hate.winter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End of the trimester and other things

2008-12-06T13:45:00.005-05:00

First of all, thank you everybody for the nice words. My in-laws came back last Tuesday night and I talked with MIL on Wednesday morning and then Husband with his father a couple of times this week. They are trying to get back to a sort of a routine but they miss they beloved Praline very much. Husband was trying to suggest an adoption (we know a very nice shelter where friends of ours got their dog and this shelter happens to have puppies now, which is not often the case) but we all agreed it was too early. They will know how and when they will want another dog at home and right now they have, very unfortunately, to grief before they can move on. It will be difficult and sad but we'll try to support them the best we can. We will see them next Saturday as they will be in town. I am actually preparing a book of Praline's best pictures for them and I hope it will be ready in time for the holidays.

Apart from that (that made us very sad and very close to our two furry monsters in our household), the trimester has come to an end. (... RELIEF here)

It was a busy week, on one side because I received good news from editor from Article-that-I-was-supposed-to-finish-and-I-didn't-have-the-time-to. Editor wrote this week and we managed to get a new deadline for me that I am actually very grateful for. This was supposed to be an important publication for me but this trimester was so busy that I tried working on it (I did reshape the article) but I didn't have enough time to really take to level I wanted it to be. So, I am doing this now. And I will work on it all week. It's a sacrifice (because I want and need a vacation so desperately) but I think Editor was so nice and friendly and understanding I really need to give E. my best shot. It is rare to work with people that nice and I think I own E. my best job.

I don't know what your experience has been up until now with the publishing business, but some time I have found readers that send out reports that are either nonsense or simply rude. Like the readers had their worst day while they were reading my article and they have to transmit bitterness in their words. I have also received very interesting and thoughtful comments that have helped me improve my work and those are the ones I really look forward to. But let me tell you that some people live in a bitter cloud....

(A part of this post disappeared......)

And now it grading time: 28 exams to go, too little time and no willing to do so at all.....

Sad news

2008-11-30T16:39:00.005-05:00

I arrived home today after the walk with Doggie to find a message from my sister-in-law. It was urgent so I called her right back. Praline, the dog of my in-laws passed away this morning. My in-laws are in Europe right now and were scheduled to come back in two days. And Praline was staying with some friends. She was 12 years old and she was the sweetest dog ever. We will all miss her very much. And I know my father in law will be heartbroken. We are all so sad.

Almost there

2008-11-27T09:14:00.001-05:00

This is the last day of classes. I still have only one on Tuesday and then the trimester is over.

What a relief! YAYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Working Sunday

2008-11-23T10:09:00.003-05:00

I still have work to do. :-(

Yesterday I was not productive at all (but it felt sooooo good to do something else) and today I have to grade everything plus working on the syllabus. Multiple ones. Auch!

Good news is I am entering the last week of the trimester. YAY!!!!!

I still have a make up class on Dec. 2 and then it is OVER!!!!! I am so happy about it.

And this week we are expecting SNOW. I will have to bundle up....

Still in grading jail

2008-11-22T09:46:00.005-05:00

I have corrected everything! Now I have to mark them all.

So today and tomorrow I will have to mark the tests and work on my syllabi that are due later this coming week. (I hate this!!!!)

I didn't have time to complain about how cold it is here in Big Canadian City. It looks like winter arrived all of a sudden. Today is almost -13°C with the wind chill. Brrrrr. I am only happy as I can wear my new coat and next week I'll go to check for a new pair of boots. I have a pair of low heel boots (that look like riding boots) that I love but they are not made for winter nor for snow. But I would love to find something very similar that I can wear everyday, robust enough so they won't get destroyed by salt but not necessarily as heavy as the Pajar pair I already own for the deep winter moments when it gets to -30°C! I think next week I'll go out and I will explore what I can find.

Today I started exercising again. I would like to make it an habit at least almost everyday for December. I would like to get in better shape before the holidays and maybe, if possible lose just that 1 or 2 Kg. that is bothering me right now. If I only lose 1 (and hopefully I won't gain another 1 during the holidays) I will be happy. And just firm up a bit. Then in January I'll try to keep up with it.

Now I am off for a brunch with Husband. :-)

Grading jail

2008-11-21T10:48:00.005-05:00

I am in grading jail. Last week I had 31 translations to correct, and this week is 38 compositions plus 31 tests.

I hate grading.

I have one more week to go and then the semester will be over!!!! I am counting the days but, until then, I will have to prepare 3+2 more classes. I am dreaming about waking up in December and have almost a month of free time for myself. I am planning to go back to a sort of regular exercise routine, plus planning some research and writing goals for the semester to come. This semester has been very very busy because of the conferences, but I want to have a quieter one in the winter where I only teach and think about my publications.

Yesterday I had a quick coffee with a colleague who will return from hir sabbatical and just wanted to let me know how much I should be staying here at Downtown U because in 2 years from now they "should"* open up a tenure position.

I understand the fact that C is very supportive and probably likes my work and thinks I am a good fit for the university, but I wonder what will happen in the future at Downtown U. I don't want to get into details about where I am and what is going on, but I can be certain that I am willing (and happy) to stay another year. I am actually looking forward to the challenges of next semester where I'll be teaching a brand new class. Yay!!!!

* they should open up a position but nobody can guarantee it will be in my field. Plus there are budget cuts everywhere.....

Thing that pisses me off

2008-11-17T17:35:00.002-05:00

I asked if I could get some business cards from my department. Can you believe what the answer was?

Sorry, no, because you are on a short term contract!

Next time I will go at a conference I will do it as an independent scholar then!

I am so pissed off!

(I asked for some bc, not thousand!)

Because we complain about students...

2008-11-14T17:18:00.002-05:00

Because we all complain about students, I am not sure that this post is not reassuring.

I had a departmental meeting today. I arrived on time and as most of the people were already there I took a seat close a colleague I really don't know. I asked if the seat was taken, and CC (Cold Colleague) said no. Perfect, thank you. CC had hir computer on the table, open and working. The meeting started and I could hear hir taping away. I did notice the same thing in September but I thought CC was helping with the minutes. (I know this is very naif from my part).

So I looked over at what CC was doing. CC was renaming hundreds of pictures while everybody else was talking. Taping systematically during the entire meeting!!!!!!!! And not taping hir personal stuff from time to time discretely, no, taping it very openly. Like the student we have in class who start text messaging when you are teaching or going on the web instead of taking notes with their laptops. That lasted the entire 3 hours of the meeting!!!!!!! And then CC made a remark, a very angry public remark. And then CC continued to type away.

I have been told later that CC does that in order to protest because CC doesn't feel accepted as part of the department. Let me tell that with a shark like that, no wonder........ and smart move to do this in a meeting, certainly everybody will love you for that.

And then we complain about students......

RBOC

2008-11-11T17:48:00.004-05:00

-I have 35 exams to correct. Blah!

-1 student didn't show up and didn't bother to write me

-another one wrote that he was sick and if he can meet me this week because of the upcoming test. Well the test is today..... Hey, we use a website and there is a syllabus. Plus I announced like 3 times in class. Why it is not sinking in?

- it is terribly cold today. Winter is coming and I hate it.

-when is the trimester over?

-I bought a Sigg bottle so I won't consume bottled water in plastic anymore when on campus.
-We are having a sushi night tonight. I don't feel like cooking
-I have Conf2 coming up tomorrow
-I think I can sleep for weeks
-Why the trimester feels like it's over but it is not in real life?

Monday morning

2008-11-10T10:58:00.003-05:00

I was so happy to go to my spinning class today. I don't know why but I woke up happy and I stayed like that. Can you believe that at 7a.m. I had 15 people showing up for class? Wow, I am amazed.

And I have thins song stuck in my head: it's a new day, by will.i.am I just love it!

Today I have light preparation ahead: one class of mine has a test tomorrow (blah for the grading) and for their second class of the week I don't need to prepare because we are watching a small movie and I will teach them things I know by heart. I adore that!

But I still have to prepare Class 1 and reread Conference, because Wednesday night I have to present it again.

And I moving on with the syllabus preparation for winter. At Downtown U. They are asking to handle all the syllabus by the end of November. It's a lot of work but 2 out of 3 are almost done! Yay!

Maybe this week when I have a moment I can start rereading Article-that-is-going-so-slowly.

Have a lovely week week everybody!

PS: I received good news about Article 2: it's in print! YAY!!!

A much needed break

2008-11-07T11:00:00.003-05:00

After the conference, I needed a break. Really needed a BREAK! I have been so exhausted in the last couple of days (on the top of fatigue I caught a virus and I had an upset tummy for two days, yack!) and I can't tell you how happy I am that things are finally slowing down to a decent rhythm.

The conference went well (everything went as planned), I still have another one this coming week and finally the semester will be over. I can't wait. I know I still have a lot of corrections coming in between now and the end of the month, but if I only have to do that I will be so happy! I truly think that this semester I pushed myself hard and it's time to take a break.

And this is what I have in mind for December (no teaching!!! yay!!!!): I will have one entire month when all I plan to do is preparing classes and reviewing one article. I want to take it easy and enjoy it. If winter will spare us of snow (we've just had three days of lovely autumn weather, after the early snow) I can still enjoy the outdoors with my dog and starting to go to the gym again. I want to go to the movies and have some days when maybe with husband we can get away. It will only do us good.

We are almost there!

Ps: conference day was the same day of election day in the States. The day before we lost the cable connection (half of our building did)!!!!!! We all called the cable company, hey, history is being made here and we can't watch it??????

They actually did restore it just in time....

I loved Obama's speech, I found it so inspiring....

Reviewing

2008-11-02T11:46:00.003-05:00

It's part of my job to submit ALL the final exams in the language program. Yes, you're heard it: ALL of them.

Which means also classes I don't teach, classes I will never teach and classes I wouldn't like to teach. Anyway I am correcting these exams since last week and honestly I am exhausted. Someone has to explain to me why:

-people don't use formatting the way they should. Bullets and numbering? let's put them all in by hand! And possibly with two or sometimes five spaces before....

-if an exam is worth 150 points, why do you make it 151? (seriously!)

-spell check anyone?

-don't ask verbs in one level that students never study before just because you don't remember....

-don't use the subjunctive in questions for Level 1, they barely know the indicative!

I can't wait to be done with it!

Tomorrow I'll pass by the office and print them all out again, and hopefully it will be way better. Right now I have to focus on my conference.

Saturday and the need to have a normal week-end again

2008-11-01T14:18:00.003-04:00

It's Saturday. Which makes it better than yesterday. I am so exhausted on Fridays I can barely function. All the tension seems to drop and my energy just goes with it. Yesterday I had an headache all day long and I was feeling like I was trapped in a foggy place. I couldn't pay attention to anything for more than 5 minutes in a row without literally hurting, which let me tell you isn't that pleasant if you have piles of work that needs to be done.

I think this trimester I am coming to terms with the fact that sometimes, even if you try your best, you can't always be at your best.

I am realizing I won't be able to finish Article 1 any time soon.

It's not because I don't want too but because there are too many things around that are more urgent. And this really sucks because I wanted it to be a stellar publication for my cv. And I don't think it will be, so all I can say is be it! I can't do anything more about it. I have piles of other stuff that is related to the position I am in that has priority because if I don't do it well, my contract won't be renewed. Yes, it sucks, but I have to come to terms with it and the fact that sometimes you need to let go. And I have to learn not to dwell on it too much. I need to accept it and I need to be smarter next time when I will be accepting work. I have to learn to say yes and no and work accordingly.

And in any case it won't be a lost publication, I will send the article out to a journal and hopefully it will be published there.Unless I am really lucky and I am not the only one late, which I don't know it yet.

This coming week I have the first of 2 conferences. I am prepared, I hope and things should be going well. They are actually a sort of a lecture, so I can speak freely with some students.

And now I am saving the best for last.

Remember what I wrote here for Professor-from-Hell? Well, yesterday night I open my e-mail just to see a message from PFH. I almost chocked! And PFH starts

Dear PhDLadybug.....

and basically PFH invites me to give a lecture with another Prof (FriendlyProf) that I like very much, for December. I was speechless.

a) PFH really has nobody else to call in and wants me to fill the void

b) PFH is smoking something extremely powerful and I was not aware of it.....

So I replied:

Dear PFH,

I am very pleased to accept your invitation.

love and flames,

Phdladybug

Soemtimes life just gets weird........

Snow!

2008-10-29T10:20:00.002-04:00

This is what I found this morning waking up. Yes, that's snow! And it's not even Halloween yet..... If it's going to be like last year, we have to start digging......

On a different tone, I went on Sunday to the plumber event. I decided that I could pass by and stop there for an hour or so. So that's what I did. Too bad because I wanted to actually listen to Professor-from-Hell speaking but she canceled her intervention because they were running out of time. I met two ex-colleagues from Toxic U. and these two are the ones I really don't miss.
I stayed one hour and left after that. There was nothing interesting, and I actually felt that next time I should be using my time in a wiser way.
I did a lot of self reflection on how to deal with Toxic people. We all have that in our life, if we can choose our friends we can't choose who we are working with. But we should be very careful not to let toxicity in our way of life, to keep it clean, crisp and light.
I am trying to find the best way to learn from all this and to put things in perspective. How to move on and how to get better at what you do, that's all that I am interested in.

Today I am home but I still have piles of work. Well, the climate can only make me feel like wrapping up in something cozy and work on my stuff. Today I want to:
-finish reviewing final exams and get to the final draft
-write the final for one of my classes
-finish the novel I started yesterday for the conference I will give on Tuesday
-read another book for Conference
-reread Article and maybe send it out (yes, the one I was always unable to work on)
-take a nap, in the last couple of nights I have been waking up at 5:30 and then I barely sleep until the alam goes off at 6:30 and I am tired.

A lot of work

2008-10-25T15:43:00.004-04:00

It's raining a lot outside. Really a lot! And with Husband we had to run a lot of errands today. I have to say that I was a little bit on the frustrated side because a) nobody with this weather is kind, b) I was still upset about an issue regarding work, not specifically where I am now but....

Let's put it like that: the association of plumbers of your region get together. you are a plumber. Are you expecting to be invited? Somehow, if you, on the top of it, know the two organizers, I would say yes.

Now even a student of mine has been invited! I wasn't. And the two organizer are: the professor who made my life hell when I was studying here in my First University and the second one is the person who replaced me at Toxic U. I wonder why Tenured colleague from my department was invited and I wasn't.......

Maybe because Professor-from-Hell hates me. Yes, she hates me! She thinks I am some sort of a devil, at least in her mind, because it is not the first time she organizes something and tries to let me out. Four years ago, at Toxic U. she approached a Visiting Professor and invited him to talk about our section. Visiting told her she should talk to me and she clearly said she didn't want me there. So Visiting said "screw you" and invited me. We went together to the talk and I did my part. The three months later Professor-from-Hell wrote a line on the bulletin of the scholar association I am a member of that in town X a meeting on Y took place and the speaker were: ........... the longest list of names and ups, she omitted mine!

Now she is retired, but I can see she is still mobbing people around.......

That pisses me off, oh sooo much. Now the question is: should I stay or should I go? (I mean, anybody can show up to the place and actually the event is taking place to a certain center where the director is a good friend of mine)

I think I should go briefly, after the 2 Toxic people spoke. Just show up for an hour and then come back home. Any suggestions?

Autumn is in and next year is planned

2008-10-21T17:17:00.003-04:00

Today it has been raining since this morning at 7:00 when I went out with Doggie (he doesn't mind but he certainly prefers snow). Then I had to run to the Apple store to exchange the iPhone charger and a pair of earphones that broke (never.ever.will.buy.those.again!) and then I rushed to the Faculty under a heavy rain (with my Ivy umbrella I bought at a conference one year ago :-)

My day went well and so far it keeps getting better. I like my classes, I like my students, I like what I do. That would be great if I could only take out the stress of everything else, hey, but I shouldn't be complaining, right?

Then I received my schedule for next year from willbetenured colleague. And for the second or third time he said to me "that if I wanted I could teach the 6th course during the summer". Next year I will have a 3/3 teaching load (or a 2/3/1 if I would like to teach in the summer), and that is exactly what I want to do. I want my 3/3 teaching load and have my summer free. So I went to talk to the administrative person in charge and I told her that for me, if possible, I wanted to teach a 3/3. I just don't want to teach in the summer. I want to have it free for my projects and my research. She agreed and told me that she will take this in consideration and actually, if for me it was OK to concentrate all my classes on 2 days, everything would be perfectly fine.

Wonderful, I love that! Also because I will be teaching exactly what I did this year for the exception of the 6th course. I decided that I won't go on the market this year and I will stay where I am (unless there is really an interesting position opening up later on).

And now I am home and I will have to grade 38 assignments...........

will I survive?

Sunday

2008-10-19T11:05:00.003-04:00

An easy Sunday here at my place. Husband went out with a friend and I am home to work on Article 1.

I have to report that Article 2 has been sent out yesterday, with all the revisions and now I have to attack this beast, something I have been postponing since August. I know, my fault! And I don't know if it counts as an excuse but I found the process of reviewing interesting when the comments are clear. When someone is just saying: "oh, the writer should use this theory for the paper", it's not what I call clear, especially if I am not familiar with the theorist in question. And that pisses me off for two reasons: let's say that when you analysing texts you are using Freud's ideas and you are very Freud oriented. I respect that and I think it's an approach to literature valid as many other. What I dislike is when someone says the Freudian approach is the only approach and you should rewrite the entire article based on that. And this is the closest I can get to explain the situation. I find it frustrating and personally not useful. And I don't think the reader did such a job when it's even more vague. Anyway.... I will have to deal with it, like it or not.

Plus I have to start reading for Conference 2. It's coming up in only two weeks and there is a lot of work that has to be done.

And then I have to prepare the final exam for one of my classes. Already! I am so no used to this system where you have to prepare the finals so much in advance..... And for me in order to do that in a fair way, I would like to prepare the class first, which I haven't done yet. I am getting there but the last month of classes is only half prepared. And I am not particularly happy about it.

So there's a lot of things to work on at the same time.

Exam passed

2008-10-18T07:29:00.003-04:00

Just because when it rains it pours, yesterday I went to pass the exam (theory) for my Canadian driving license. I did pass (I am happy about it) but it was the longest wait ever. If the exam in itself was done in 30 minutes (probably less), then it took me 5 hours to do everything (which includes the lovely subway+bus ride of 45 minutes ti get in the middle of nowhere) and the 2 and a half hours of waiting I had to do there. And yes, I did make an appointment: it was scheduled at 11:30, I didn't write the exam before 12:30 and I was not out of there before 14:30.

By the time I arrived home, I was totally done!

Tired

2008-10-16T20:41:00.002-04:00

I am so tired it's not even 9pm and I am going to sleep.....

Life is so much fun around here....

Back

2008-10-14T16:44:00.002-04:00

We are back from our week-end. The weather was gorgeous and the colours were beautiful. We managed to sleep in and relax. A little shopping and eating out. We love the place.

I had to bring in some work. I know it sucks but I am overwhelmed with stuff. I should have days of 48 hours instead.

Today I taught my two classes and I need to vote for the federal elections, and then have dinner with a group of students.

Packing

2008-10-10T11:16:00.003-04:00

I am packing again. We are leaving in a couple of hours to go up north in the country. We we'll drop our dog to his favorite daycare (kitty is at the vet because she will need some blood test done) and then we are off for the long week-end.

We hope to sleep in, relax, walk around and do some work. Yes, I know, I still have to work. It looks like the never ending story but there is nothing I can do about it. It has to be done.

I hope I will have some pics by the time we'll be back.

Have a nice Thanksgiving everyone (yes, it's the Canadian thanksgiving week-end)

Home

2008-10-08T18:27:00.000-04:00

I am home, tired sooo tired.

It feel so good to be here.

And so it went well

2008-10-07T21:16:00.002-04:00

My conference went well. I am very pleased with it and with the lecture I gave after. Everybody has been very supportive and enthusiastic, I am very happy about it.

I still find it hard to move from grad student to professor and I guess this transition will take some time.

And now As tired as I am, I simply will go to sleep there is an early train to catch tomorrow....

From GreenTownLand

2008-10-06T22:34:00.002-04:00

A quick update now that I have an Internet connection (thank you Via Rail Canada for asking me to pay 9$ for a daily pass, but no I still think wifi should be provided for free for the customers paying a ticket, thank you!).

I arrived well after 6 hours of a shaky train (let's think about heavy turbulence in a plane and let's transport it to a train... I had to grab my seat from time to time....) and I had dinner at my friends house. Very nice and sweet. Tomorrow my appointment is at 9:30 for breakfast which means I can sleep in until 8 o' clock!!!!! I haven't done that in a while! So good night bloggers, I will be asleep in little time.

Conference for tomorrow is ready and I am very positive about it.

Notes from a Sunday morning

2008-10-05T10:13:00.003-04:00

All is well here, except I work (again!) on a Sunday morning.

I am making small corrections to my conference. I leave tomorrow morning and will give conference+ class on Tuesday afternoon. I really hope I can post from there, but I am not sure because I still don't know if I'll stay at a friend's house or at an hotel. For me both are fine.

Today I will also have to (here we go RBOC!!! even if my template doesn't seem to collaborate on this one):

-Print final version of conference DONE!

-I have corrected Article 1. Now I have to type the revisions,(DONE) and then hopefully I will have more time to review it on the train

-Article 2 is still hanging. I have printed it ad again I hope the train will be a nice inspiration, after all I will be away for 2 full days without having to worry about anything but this.

-Get a look at Thursday's classes: they are almost prepared, but maybe I should review them, just to make sure I will feel confident enough on class day.

-Correct and grade 38 exams from Class 1 and 2 from Class 2.

-Copy all the new files from iMac to iBook. I have a couple of articles I would like to read while traveling. Plus I have to rework on my Excel grade sheets because in Downtown U they are very generously offering you a grade breakdown sheet but it doesn't correspond to mine. So I have to work things around and change mine in order of having less work next time around.(DONE)

-Prepare my suitcase. What should I bring? I think I will go with my favorite: jeans (a nice dark pair), my favorite low heel boots, a nice shirt, a red pullover and a grey jacket. It's cold here and I need to be warm enough. (almost there)

Hopefully one day will be enough for all of this!

When everything happens at the same time

2008-10-01T21:14:00.002-04:00

I didn't even finish reviewing Article 1 that the review for Article 2 is in. It's good, (meaning it will be included, YAY!!!) but there some work that has to be done. By the end of October......... aaaggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today at the hairdresser I was reviewing my upcoming conference. This is pathetic! I can't even take an hour or so off......... I run around all the time and the last two days I worked straight into my evenings.

A good thing is when I will be traveling next week I will be able to work. I promise I don't want anything that looks like this trimester in 2009. I am totally wiped out!

I need a break. All I need to do is work and work and work this week-end. I will travel out of town this coming Monday and I'll be back Wednesday. Then I teach Thursday and I have a long (maybe working) week-end ahead but in the country with Husband. I hope I'll catch up some sleep then. And hopefully things will start to fall into place.

I am stressed and under pressure...... I hate this!

Quick update

2008-09-29T15:35:00.002-04:00

Digging out from a pile of work......

Things are moving along. A lot of planning ahead as Conference approach. I should be handling in the Article too but it's not ready... yet....

I've done my best to reshape it and will still work on it but I have the time I have and I can't make miracles happen.

Today I went to a conference I helped organizing and then had lunch with two colleagues. Funny how the youngest in the group is so organized: he does stuff only at certain times. At the beginning I thought it was something normal (last Friday at a lunch party he didn't have wine, which is ok, only at night he said) but then I realized it's really something about his life. Celebrating? Only on week-ends. Doing this? only at night. The other? Only in the day. I understand that we are swamped with work but that seemed to me a little bit too much. In any case, who am I to judge, right?

Maybe I should be so organized. And to get though all this work I will make myself a cup of green tea. Never after 4, so I'm still in time! :-)

I still need to get things done today. It will be a painful afternoon. Husband and I couldn't sleep last night, we don't know why. We were both laughing at 3:45 at night when he turned my way and said: "don't worry honey you still have two hours of sleep ahead" and we both were awake......

Didn't sleep until 5:30 when the alarm went off.

I am sleepy!!!!

Julie, I'll answer asap!

I have to resist

2008-09-27T15:55:00.005-04:00

the temptation of going to bed and start working. I need to focus on Article 1 badly because I haven't touch it yet. I had too many things to do and I spent some time doing some research that was needed for my upcoming Conference.

Next time I hope I will plan things much better.

Now this just sucks. I want to get it done but I have a fully full week ahead.....

Friday I spent the entire day on campus for 2 meetings and one event that took a lot of time. I am exhausted!

I wonder why

2008-09-23T17:24:00.002-04:00

........students don't do their homework and then they complain......

................the secretary in a bad mood today answered my e-mail that another administrative person told me to send her and instead of saying "send me this and this" told me to do as the booklet said. I wrote her back and said that X told me to write her for an administrative matter and I got back the same answer. Guess what the booklet said? To write HER!!!!!!!!!

.............. the computer guy finally passed by and didn't set up an account for me in a computer in my office

............. I have to correct 38 tests

Just another manic Monday

2008-09-22T19:15:00.003-04:00

I started working this morning at 10 and it's now 19:15 and I am almost done. I have prepared my classes.

Maybe tomorrow night I will be able to focus on Article 1.

I walked our puppy this morning after the spinning class and I guess I want to share his happiness with this picture. :-)

Tired Sunday

2008-09-21T12:13:00.004-04:00

There was a new student orientation on Friday night that went really well. After that I had dinner with three other colleagues around campus and it was great. Out of the four of us, three are new and I really feel it's nice to construct new friendships. As in my field we are only 5 professors with a big age gap, it's nice to have another view of the same department from other colleagues that are outside the very localized politics of this restricted group of people.

And then Saturday I was too tired to do anything and I feel very guilty about it.But I needed a break. This morning I slept in as Husband and our puppy went outside for a walk. That feels so good!

I also went to get a blood test done to check my thyroid this week. My doctor found out last year I might have a little hypothyroidism and because it's really subtle she wants me to check for developments every six months. I feel good but I am going though phases of a lot of fatigue where my sleeping hours are extremely important. We'll see in two weeks from now what the results will be and if she thinks I should start some medication. I truly don't know what to hope for, because I am going through moments where I am tired all the time and other where I feel very energetic. As for the rest, the only symptom I have is cold intolerance. I am cold all the time (even when I shouldn't be). For the rest I am perfectly fine, nut this moments of high exhaustion plays a part in my life because somehow I don't know anymore what "normally tired" is. In any case, I'll wait and see.

Today I need to work on Article 1, and do some readings for Conference1 too. The two things are related so it's a very good thing. Again I am battling with a little anxiety and a little grogginess. Husband left one hour ago for a two days business trip and I will be totally in charge of my schedule, which I personally like. Before I met him, I lived alone for 6 years and I totally enjoyed it. Sometimes I still feel a little selfish but I do love this time alone. I miss him at the same time, but I am also happy to have the house all for me and to have only my schedule to take care of.

One of the things I am trying to do while alone is to get organized with healthy eating during the week. I was so stressed by the beginning of the trimester that I started to eat the first things that were coming my way instead of carefully choosing foods that are healthy and can keep you going in the best healthy way.

I have a lot of progress to made in this direction because I know when I eat well everything else is easier too. It takes a little effort but I should try to do it for the trimester while getting back to exercise again. I started my spinning class again, and I simply love it!

Now, back to work.....

RBOC Friday edition

2008-09-19T12:59:00.004-04:00

I would blog from campus if the wireless network would work! I was not even able to send e-mails from my laptop... I decided I won't even bring it anymore, what's the point?
This week was long but so far so good: classes are going well, I met another colleague (part of the old side of the department: we are currently 5 in my section: we are 2 young, 1 middle aged and 2 -sorry but it's true- old which translates in over 70 kind of age. I don't want to get into their political disagreement but there is a generational conflict going on..... details on that later on during the academic year)
I want to see the far away campus Downtown U has, it was great! I am amazed. I went there for a workshop. It was good.
I HAVE to finish Article 1 which need serious rewriting. I am tired. I wanted it so much to be out of my way!
Husband is away, will be back tonight, will travel on Sunday. I should get more work done...... hopefully!
Friday mornings are so unproductive. I am way too tired to work on anything.
I hope this afternoon I will log in some hours.
We have a new students orientation tonight.
It's so freaking cold I took out the winter clothes..... bye bye summer.....

Prep Monday

2008-09-15T18:13:00.002-04:00

It was a looooong Monday. First of all last night there was such a strong wind outside both Husband and I didn't get much sleep at all. Then we both woke up at 5:30 (yes, that's right!) because I started teaching spinning again, and he had to take care of our big puppy. Don't ask me why I keep doing it, the only thing I know is that once I am on the bike I am an happy person, and maybe this should remind me that I am even an happier person when I exercise and I should start being a regular at the gym again (in order to balance stress and life).

After the spinning I took the big puppy out again, it was not raining anymore and I said to myself, why not, in a couple of months we'll dig out of snow to get out of the house, so we better enjoy it!

And then Monday started: I worked all day in order to prepare my classes. I've realized that to prepare one class and a half for each course almost half a day each goes by. It's not so bad because this leaves a little bit of Wednesday for readings and Friday to Sunday for research and other personal stuff.

I had a quick lunch, took oout puppy again, and worked. Husband has an evening tonight so I will prepare dinner for myself, take the big puppy out and collapse early. Tomorrow is a super long day on campus (as Thursday).

Now that the book review is out of my way I need to work on Article 1 and prepare Conference 1. After that, by Mid-October things should slow down. I am looking forward to the long week-end we will spend in the country just Husband and I.

Monday is always soooo long.......

Ikea shopping

2008-09-13T17:27:00.002-04:00

Husband and I we went to Ikea today. I wanted this chair for a long time in order to set up my little reading corner in our apartment. And we added a little table we wanted for a very long time.

Now the furniture is up and running and I still have to put things together and get rid of unwanted stuff we tend to accumulate. Our apartment is almost suffocated with stuff we don't need, really.

And I have been thinking about posting something about women in the academy, but I don't have the time yet. Let's say (I will elaborate in another post) that I have the conviction that it can be a boy's club. Now don't get me wrong, it doesn't have to be like this all the time, but when you work with man coming out from a macho culture (those in my field), very unfortunately old prejudice are hard to die.

Get back to you on this later but suggestions are accepted.

Never underestimate

2008-09-12T17:42:00.001-04:00

the power of a nap!

It's a grey and rainy day here and I took a nap on the couch. I woke up groggy, had a tea with a little sweet thing and I jumped into reviewing the book review that will be send out tomorrow.

It looks good, I am happy!

No time at all

2008-09-12T11:40:00.002-04:00

The trimester is in full swing. Week two passed by and everything starts to make sense on campus and outside of it.

I had to take care of administrative stuff and a lot of student needed a language assessment this week. Yesterday I went to ask a question to one of the assistants and she was very very brusque. Auch! But she apologized later and I made her laugh so I guess it can happen and it was also my fault, I was definitely a lot in her feet this week.

I am happy I was able to organize an activity in collaboration with another Big University in town and we received the funding for it.

In the meanwhile there was a lot of class preparation. I did get frustrated yesterday while teaching the Translation class because I try to work with my students in a progressive manner: I explain one particular aspect of the language, I give them some specific exercises on it, and then and only then I proceed with translation exercises on the same topic. When we arrived at this stage, and we were correcting their homework I realized they were not prepared at all. Don't give "I don't know" as an answer if you had to study the material we did cover it last week.

That is very frustrating. I try to move on a step by step approach because there are a lot of material we are covering this trimester and they don't seem to get the fact that they won't be able to study it all at once for a test or an exam. Instead they have to focus on small tasks and small things in order to get the big picture later.

I guess things will be put in perspective when the first exam will come up......

And then the job market opened up again this year. To apply or not to apply? This is the question....... My position here is a limited term position renewable for up to three years.

Maybe, at the end of the third year, I can extend it in a five years contract, but it will still be an nontenured position (which means a heavier teaching load and less funding opportunities).

In the coming three years I should have enough room to apply only to the positions I am really interested in without feeling too much pressure. I hope that in the meanwhile I can publish a little more and get on the market again from a perspective where you move only for what you really want.

So what should I do? To apply or not to apply?

A pile of work

2008-09-08T17:57:00.003-04:00

If Week 1 passed without too much trouble, Week 2 is swamped with work. Today I had to fill out something like 6 Exams Questionnaire for all the language courses we are offering (including all the courses I don't personally teach) so that required a little coordination effort plus intense concentration in order to write down all the codes and the /something for all the classes.

Over the weekend I worked on a book review I needed to write it before Sept. 15 (which also involved reading the book itself). It's almost done, I wanted to review it today but I don't think I will have the time.

I am in the middle of class preparation and I am not sure I will be done by tonight.

On the top of it I had to book the train for my upcoming conference in October at Good Canadian U. (uh hu, maybe I should start preparing that, what do you think?) and I still have to spend some time today over scheduling a meeting with my new colleagues.

Tomorrow I will spend the entire day on campus. I have meetings with students and with colleagues. And another meeting after I finish teaching.

Plus September looks as busy as ever.

And on Friday night our neighbours passed by to let us know they have been robbed during the day. Holy cow! I was home and I didn't hear a single thing. Plus their door wasn't even damaged and i looked like someone opened it with a key. That was the scary part!

So our discussion that night about what just happened turned into a tirade against our janitor who leaves the front door open all the f........g time! If he has to clean, he puts on his iPod and he opens all doors we have in the building (we live in a medium size building in a residential area but still very close to downtown) without caring whoever is going in or out. (And I don't even mention that things are not getting done around here! Just to give you another example: who shovels snow only at 4 p.m. when you had a big snowfall the night before? And in the morning you have to get used to walk in the snow up till your knees......)

I guess we are all pretty pissed off and we said we should plan something..... If only I had the time....

Week 1

2008-09-04T17:36:00.002-04:00

Week 1 is over! And I survived.

I came home to find outside my window on the roof of the apartment building in front of ours a racoon who is totally spread in the shade relaxing and half asleep.

HE knows what summer means! I actually envy him. Is this normal?

New beginning

2008-09-02T16:49:00.005-04:00

It's time to go back to school. It's beautiful day here, one that really reminds you on how summer should be. Hot, very hot. Downtown campus was packed with students today, excitement was in the air.

As I passed by the Dept. Office to pick up my sillaby, with my grande Starbucks cappuccino in my hand, I was delighted to see all the people around me. It's a frantic atmosphere, everybody tries to go around and find their way.

There was a little glitch: only one syllabus was ready, so I picked up the second one later on.

My two classes are large, the students are nice, I was very prepared for the day. And everything went well, even the new equipment worked (I am impressed!) and so I can say that I survived Day1!

First day

2008-09-02T08:49:00.001-04:00

Today it's the first day of the trimester. I am teaching 2 classes and I will be on campus all day.

It's a big day. I am excited and anxious.......

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Things to do

2008-08-30T14:54:00.003-04:00

I have to admit to myself the holidays are over. I like to cling to summer* very strongly but even if outside is very nice and sunny, I need to get back to work.

Things to do around the house to prepare the semester:

Laundry
Pack up books I will need at the office
Clean my desk
Put away some stuff from last year that is still there (because I am lazy)
Put away the groceries

Things to do (work related)

prepare classes (I am so behind with this, it's almost scary!)
read book and start thinking about its review
write the book review
revise article (the one I didn't feel sorry about because I didn't work on it this summer*)
prepare Conference for another Canadian University and read some interesting articles related to that and my research

I guess I should start now!

*Summer: the best moment of the year, especially this one. For the last 6 years I only had 4 weeks of real holiday. I always had to go back in August to the office (18 hours a week anyone?) and this summer is the first time in such a long period I didn't have to do that. It's an enormous relief for me and I enjoyed it to the fullest. I know next year it will be busier, but please, let me have the last tiny bit of it! :)

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Sometimes you just have to drop it

2008-08-29T16:00:00.001-04:00

I had a quick e-mail exchange with Toxic U. I was supposed to teach one class during a course I and 2 other colleagues helped create. A very interesting one and a very nice one, if you want my opinion. I worked very hard for this course, I knew it was a good one, I got the right people in and convinced the bureaucracy that it was worth a shot. And it was. Then, moving away from Toxic U. I only kept this last link with them. That course was my "baby" and even if somebody else was supposed to coordinate it (at each class there is a different speaker) I was confident about it and I would have loved to make an appearance.

Now they are writing me that there will be almost no speaker at all in the course. (we have too little students..... so what? They don't deserve a good course? Did you advertise the course? no, then what do you think, students will fall into your hands just because you are sooo nice?) And the person who replaced me will teach it. If I really wanted to participate, then I could, maybe, if I was just doing this portion of the initial conference.

Excuse me???????????

So I decided to drop it. I wrote a brief message saying why this course was designed in a certain way and that if they wanted to do it some other way, they were basically changing all the work we did, so be it and good luck.

I just have to drop any attachment with Toxic U. if I don't want to be intoxicated again......

On a totally different note, I watched the Democratic convention yesterday on CNN. What an inspiring moment! If only we had politicians like Obama...... I would vote for him right away. I confess I am a Democrat at heart!

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Finding your way around

2008-08-28T09:49:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I had a very nice lunch my colleagues. It was a very nice day outside and we all agreed on the fact that summer is so short in this city that being inside a department now really sucks! We want more summer days!!!!!

And I will be forever grateful to my Colleague D. because he showed me around and where to get the keys for the classrooms and how it works. I would have been totally lost without this kind of help.

Now I have to work on my class preparation: September 2 is the big day!

So many things to do and so little time!

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The semester is almost here

2008-08-27T08:26:00.003-04:00

Thank you for your kind words. I have spent the last two days thinking how lucky I have been to have a wonderful relationship with my grandfather for all this time.

Now the semester is sneaking up on me. I still have a LOT of course preparation. Plus I have Article 1 to review. I wrote the editor that I was running late (like a month late) and Ed. asked me if I can rush things. I know, I hate being late but if I could only be sincere with Ed. I would write the following: I hate doing this and being late in things I have to do but I needed a break during the summer. I know it doesn't look good if we are not working all the time but I did enjoy the break. I actually think I did deserve a break.I had to teach 9 courses last year, defend a dissertation, wrote 3 articles (I know I have this one to review but please, it's only 30 days of delay and I even told you 15 days in advance plus you told me you have your own deadline...) and I was simply too exhausted to work in the summer. I needed my break and I am very sorry to spoil you plans, but I still will send you the article at the end of September even if I receive guilty looks or make you feel guilty words. I am just sorry!

Then yesterday I went on campus and I realized hey, I start teaching next week....... but where???????? How do I make photocopies? Where is my mail box? and plenty of other questions.

I wrote to the secretary (I know she will hate me but weren't' we supposed to have an orientation for new faculty?) in order to get all these things cleared up before the semester starts.

Did you have a new faculty orientation? Did they tell you those basic things or you had to figure it out along the way?

And I am still missing a workbook for my Language class!!!! Can I get a copy asap? I need to prepare my classes!

Today I am having lunch a with two Colleagues, one from my U. and another from another U. in town and I am so happy to see them. Then after with C1 will go to the department to take care of a couple of things and then I will go visiting the new classes, if I will know where they will take place. :-)

And the next couple of days I will prepare and prepare and prepare.

Oh, did I tell you I also a book review to write?

I guess the trimester is really kicking in!

Good news and bad news

2008-08-25T14:12:00.002-04:00

The good news is doggie has just a cyst in his tail. He is healthy and happy.

The bad news is that my grandfather passed away yesterday night. He was 95 years old. I am sad but at least I was able to see him in July for the last time. He was not doing well and had become very frail. In the family we were all fearing that this moment would come. My grandmother (she is 97 years old) is coping well, at least.

This summer she was holding his hand (my grandfather was bed ridden) and she said that he has been a very good husband. They have been married for 71 years (I know it sounds like a miracle!).

I will miss him.

Weekend (and totally dog related post)

2008-08-21T10:27:00.006-04:00

We are leaving tomorrow to go to see my In-Laws. We are leaving Friday night and we'll be back Sunday.

On the top of it, Doggie has to go to the vet to take out what is probably a kist from his tail. He had it for a long time but it's better to get that out. The vet told me it can be anything and it will go under a biopsy when removed, just to make sure there is nothing bad there. I was feeling particularly sad about it this week. I don't like to leave him at the vet and I was thinking how nice it would have been to take him with us. Anyway, I am getting melancholic here, but I'll let you know how it will go. Doggie will stay at the vet until probably Monday night. I hope maybe we can take him home on Sunday, but I'm not sure they are releasing animals on Sundays. In any case, I know I'll worry about him. He's such a sweet dog I just hope he'll get out of the clinic is his best shape! :-)

As for the rest it has been a very unproductive week. It's so hard to be back and in a back to school mood. Holidays should last longer! :-)

And speaking about phones....

2008-08-20T10:44:00.003-04:00

I am seriously thinking about getting an iPhone.

I have to change my plan anyway by November and right now Fido has a super offer of 6GB of data for 30$ a month (plus your phone plan).

Do you think it's good? Do you have one?

I passed by the Apple store yesterday and played with one and it really looks nice. I am wondering if I truly need it. Plus I would have to sign up for 3 years, which is a lot in terms of phone years for me......

What should I do? I have to decide by August 31.....

The most annoying phone call EVER!

2008-08-20T10:18:00.004-04:00

Yesterday afternoon the phone rang. I was in the middle of procrastinating (the last couple of days, despite my positive attitude have been hard) and I picked up.

-Hi, I'm calling from your Internet service XYZ. We actually have a problem in upgrading the speed of your line. We should check it. Do you have 15 minutes?

-OK, what should I do?

-Check this and that.....

So I did it. This person was quite rough and when we arrived to the modem cable:

-Do you use the cable we sent you?

-Yes.

-Are you sure?

-Yes

-How long is the cable you are using now?

-About 50 to 70 cm.

-What the hell is that in feet?

-I don't know, I use the metric system.

-Well, then IT IS NOT OUR cable, it's too long! Our must be a max. of 6 feet.

-And how much is 6 feet in cm?

-I don't know, but this isn't the cable from the company! (getting a rude attitude)

-Excuse me? This is your cable, but let me double check the box, just in case.

(pause: I am checking the box while saying very loud: some people can be rude on the phone!)

I came back and told him so:

-Yes, it is the good cable, and by the way, my computer converts cm into feet: 6 feet is 183 cm, which I think it can be good for you to know.

-I don't have time to get into this kind of details.

-????????? Hey, I am just saying that if my cable is 50 to 70 cm that means it is less than 183 (you moron, I tough!) and for you professionally it would be good to know the conversion.

-Well, ................ let's move on, now you have to do this.

-OK, but do you mind being a little nicer here? You are almost rude.

-Oumph, from what I can see I don't think the problem is solved. I will have to send you someone.

-Well, I don't have any problem with the speed of my Internet connection, but why not. Tomorrow after 10 would it be possible?

-Our men have shifts from 8 to 12, so it can't be after 10.

-I am not at home at 8, why don't you put on the schedule just after 10, so we are sure that I'll be home.

-Listen, our shifts in the morning are 8 to 12, if it's not OK then you'll need to find another moment.

(at this point I was boiling and to the point of exploding)

-I don't have another moment, what kind of customer service is this?, and by the way, you ARE rude.

-Then it's nothing. Bye.

The guy almost hanged up on me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never called the company and never asked for anything and now they are calling me to have this kind of conversations??????????

WTF??????????????????

Being pissed off as I was, I called back the company (which is also my phone company) and complained about that with a very nice customer's representative who seemed to be as overwhelmed as I was. She said she was sorry two hundreds times in the name of the company. I told her that it was not her fault but I definitely wanted my complaint to be investigated and this person to be taught how to deal with customers.

After I calmed down, I talked to Husband. I was already feeling like a complete idiot, then Husband asked me if I had the name or the phone number of the person who contacted me. I had to admit I didn't take that down. And that was my fault, and I know I should have asked. When the phone rang, I was totally in the middle of something else and I didn't think about it. I doubted that could have been a sort of phishing phone call because I was not asked anything personal (that would have alerted me right away) and we focused on the modem, etc,.

In any case, that was the worst phone call EVER!

No, thank you

2008-08-19T08:56:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I received a message from Toxic U. They are offering me a course, if I want to.

The answer was very simple: no thank you!

And even if a colleague of mine from TU told me I should teach there from time to time in order to keep my priority there, I have to admit that right now I don't even think about it. If I will lose any priority there, if something happens here, I am not sure at all I would love to go back to work there. Maybe I am still fresh from it, but I don't see why I would do something like that. I would prefer to take a year off teaching and concentrate on publishing instead that going back to that level of toxicity.

Maybe this coming months are all about getting rid of all bad feelings and enjoying the good ones.

I am into good vibes! :-))))

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